Elegy for an Older Sister
For Cathie Jo Stanley 1949-1972
i.
After the day you died
I went to a mountain lake
All warm and piney
And as I floated in the gentle water
Transfixed between earth and sky
I thought of you dying
Just the plain sorrow of it
And of how it would never end
ii.
They would not let me touch your face
As you lay upon the hard silver table
They would not let me wash the blood
From your face and beg forgiveness
For all my sister sins
I stood unnoticed in the hallway
Watching doctors, priests, lovers
The wise men of civilization
I saw no courage on that day
No one who could say to a young girl
This is the meaning of life:
We are born and then we die
iii.
And one day I was older
Than you'd ever be
You would never again
Be older than me
© 1984 J.L.Stanley
